One year later

papa smilingI know I don’t normally post on Saturdays, but a year ago today, my dad died of brain cancer. I wanted to note today somehow, in memory and because so many of you were such a support during that time, and also (on a more mundane note) because I haven’t been posting much this week and that’s why. It’s been a hard week, and I decided at a certain point that I wasn’t going to push.

I don’t know exactly what to say beyond that. He’s still gone and I still miss him. On the six month anniversary of his death, I wrote up a whole post about my memories of him and reading, and I’m glad I did. But somehow it hurts too much right now for me to be eloquent. I still feel a strange kind of disbelief. I don’t know if that will ever go away, really. A part of me will always be unflyable, stuck in the climb.

All of this has shaped and is shaping me in ways I can’t even begin to articulate. So I suppose I’ll fall back once again on the prayers of my Church, and simply say, “Give rest, O Lord, to the soul of Thy servant Nathaniel, who has fallen asleep.” And that I can say with all my heart.



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9 responses to “One year later

  1. This time of year is so hard when you are missing a loved one. I feel for you. I lost my mom last year and it still aches so much. Sending hugs ❤

  2. Sage Blackwood

    Maureen, I didn’t realize your dad had died of brain cancer. That is what my sister died of also. Glioblastoma multiforme. It is three years this week since her diagnosis. She survived a “long” time, 2 1/2 years.
    I’m so sorry for the loss of your father.

  3. Maureen, I am so sorry I did not write here yet! I still remember you father daily in our prayers here. The loss if it would be very hard. Thank you so much for your kind comment about my Oma’s passing. Sending love and prayers to you.

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